were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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