When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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