For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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