hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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