You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
