i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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