Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
