Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
