soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize