Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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