Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Actions speak louder than pants.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
