Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize