Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
