Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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