how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
