walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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