It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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