I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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