Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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