i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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