did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
