How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
