He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
