Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
