If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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