I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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