Kiss
Puke
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize