I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.