Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing