I smell stomach acid.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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