Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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