I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
