____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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