I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
