Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
