I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
