im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
