Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
