I am puke
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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