Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
