I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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