Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my shit smells like andre
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
