is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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