remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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