I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
