so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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