dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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