I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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