I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
