If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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