so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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