god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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