dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
