I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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