TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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