Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love having hate sex.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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