booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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