I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
