Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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