Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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