I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
