"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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