I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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