new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
