I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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