If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
