Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
